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Love Redefined

by LONEgevity

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about

"Love Redefined" is a concept album in the form of a continuous story that is meant to be heard in order from the first track to the last. It is loosely based on certain episodes of "Master of None" Netflix series and shit that's happened in my life in the last year.

In creating "Love Redefined," I wanted to create something that documents the intricacies and afflictions of someone learning to change the way he views life and love, and the path to find love in himself - rather than be dependent on it from another. You'll follow the struggle in having patience in the process when fighting familiar emotions, as well as exploring being open and honest with those feelings with not only himself but with others. This project started out as something I had no intent on releasing, and instead was just kind of writing to get some thoughts out creatively. As the project came to a close it turned into something I like and wanted to share with people. Life's a process, and this project documents that process.

credits

released February 14, 2018

I wrote, produced, edited, mixed and mastered everything you hear on the album except a couple interludes that I stole from the internet. I also made the art. Ted Somerville and his guitar added the emotion I needed on "Friends," and my guy Eric Wilson co-produced "Lonely Me."

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about

LONEgevity Indianapolis

LONEgevity is a producer, musician, emcee, vocalist and member of Section Leaders.

This page is every solo release in his catalog.

He's also placed music in independent commercials / films and been featured on sites such as 2dopeboyz, Okayplayer, NPR, Mass Appeal, DJ Booth, etc.

Affiliations: Section Leaders, Hinx Jones, Beats & Breakfast, No Cosign Records, New Old Heads, BDTB, Decakdemics.
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Track Name: Find Yourself First
Now I said...
I need the freedom, man I need the freedom
But, I don't believe him, my heart was speaking from needing
It's something not fulfilled from the season I'm currently in
It's trying to take my happiness, afraid to look within
I need to stop it, slow down, breath a bit, relax
Read a bit, put my seat back
Life will be fine, I'll see that
Closeness, I fiend that
Sometimes I need to step back
So I can again, you know, feel that
Pack it homie, I know you feel you only
It's that pain of feeling lonely
It's something ever-knowing
We've all been there in different ways
And different phases
Perpetual mazes
We're just finding our own way through it
So slow down 3000, slow down
You've gotta grab hold of where you are to grow sound
I guess it's good to be patient
I just want what I want, when I want it
Especially when I'm looking at the face of it

The more you love yourself, the more your self love will project

You talk too much, man, you think to much
Always in here trying to predict what others do want
Nobody's filming, just be you and be proud of it
I know you hate pride, even the sound of it
I just wanna be loved
I just need to feel something
I'm just tired of running
Wanna feel more than nothing
Always wanna be different
Not sure where it comes from
Always sit back and listen
Even when I'm in front... huh?
I'm just trucking through life man
Trying to provide my own stipend
For the world and everyone to be enlightened
But it starts with me, you know that you can't provide that
So how you living today? Aye! thanks for asking
Had a lot of things change so drastic
But I can't bask in it or mask it, life's fantastic
Setbacks are growth if you can pass through that traffic
Fuck the blinkers
Sometimes you've got to move how you feel in that moment
And not care who condone it
It's all about you sometimes, you've got to own it
And you can be for others and still love yourself, know it
Track Name: For A Reason
I used to think that my way was the best way
But I've learned that it's always best to listen
Cause my moves don't speak the way your chest may
But might speak in a dialect you were missing
I've done a lot of growing that I never thought that I'd need
To proceed, believed that I knew free
But thinking now, when I break it down
You really helped me to be me
And be a better man for she (whoever she is)
But these are my lessons
Your honestly and love does mean more than your presence
Sometimes I tear up just thinking about it
The love you showed in your pain
Believing that we may
Be on the right track
But both fighting demons
And mine seemed to always be the blame
But yeah, I see the reasoning
Yeah I'm happy that you happy now if you are
Yeah I'm happy that you happy now if you are

It happened for a reason, one can't be mad
So know this, know that everything's cool

Sometimes I'd get jealous and feel bad for it
Looking back I was jealous of your lack of it
Not the act but the position I was put in
It's like you always had one foot out and one foot in (me too)
And see I struggled to be strong when you were stronger
I see now I just needed space to sit and wonder
About the place that I wanted to be
I was so afraid to be alone, but I was, I couldn't see
I do wish that I grew quicker sometimes
But looking back, you weren't stressing my time
You weren't looking for mine
I can't even say that I don't miss you, cause I do
The feeling's not the same... but it's true
When talking about my insecurities
And a purity of a "her and me"
See it's a different type of currency
I'm just a little lost on the path to where the bliss is
Sometimes I get so caught up in it I'm afraid I'll miss it
I think I missed it

It happened for a reason, one can't be mad
So know this, know that everything's cool
Track Name: Create With You
Now no matter the situation
No matter the shit I'm place in
I'll still chase my star in the sky, there's no debating
Intertwined with hello
Meet me, I'm mellow
A fellow that respects the thoughts wrapped in your pillows
The dreams on your inner side
Fire that's kindled, I
Just wanna nurture that feeling when the speaker cries
Lose yourself over it
Close your eyes or mold to it
Make a duplicate, share it with yourself
See the scope of it
And let the love flow
And share with unknowns
Build it up, share it with me
The door to your soul
And I promise that I won't judge, belittle
Or think that I know much, if I don't know much
I just want to give myself and give it all
Live it up my best til my final curtain calls
We see our destiny
This is the flesh in me
Love is the master key
Under this mask is me

I wanna create with you
Even if it's just today
Cause I wanna relate with you
And see just how you make your way
I wanna grow with me
Do you wanna grow with you
I'm here for you to see
Will you let me see you too.. see you too

Now unmasking myself is a frightening thought
And to love in solitude is a blessing and not
And do you need to feel love to show it
Hm, that doesn't seem right
We're just looking for connections in life
And it's ironic that you've got to love yourself first
I'm just a man when you break it down
Full of faults, with a strong will
And I make mistakes, tend to be cold but I'm working on it
And if I see beauty I'm perching on it
I'm trying to see the world through my own eyes
Build with the people, and live my own life
It's tough to live openly when you've been where I've been
I just wanna let go and have faith... until then
I'll race with you
Face to face with you
Hold hands in thought - I'm made to fade with you
Right into the background
Living here for me
And if you've got the time, you're invited to come sing

I wanna create with you
Even if it's just today
Cause I wanna relate with you
And see just how you make your way
I wanna grow with me
Do you wanna grow with you
I'm here for you to see
Will you let me see you too.. see you too
Track Name: Your Time
And I don't wanna waste your time, no no

I ain't going to waste your time
I'm right here if you've got time
if you've got time
if you've got time

Now see, most of these songs are lies
Like "I just want your mind..."
But I want your back, and your neck and all of that
But first now, we should start with where we are and where we at
I wanna take you out, learn your deep thoughts and doubts
I know that life has been rough
That's OK, I have been loved
And then I lost it then saw it spawn in someone else uh
I know the hesitation
I've lived it, I've been impatient
I'm patiently waiting
I'll make it easy: I'm standing stationary
The very thought is scary
I carry the weight of my soul that is married to old thoughts
That's why these bold plots are cold-hot
Either you love the idea or you don't, nah
You don't have to know til you know ma
Cause I don't have a fear for the unknown
I just have a fear of what's known
Under the tones of expectation
So that sensation
Can be elation
Temptation
Or simply hatred of feeling wasted

I ain't going to waste your time
I'm right here if you've got time
I ain't going to waste your time
I'm right here if you've got time
if you've got time
if you've got time
if you've got time
if you've got time

I wrote the first verse, then I let it breathe
Two months later, my mind, you don't wanna leave
I kind of wondered if I was infatuated
Like, maybe it wasn't real or maybe I was just jaded
But I've realized some things
Like yeah, you have a pretty face
And your eyes and your figure
And how you flirt when you drink
But I fell in love with your mind, that's the best part
And I rarely think about your beauty, outside of your heart
And it's amazing, that feeling
The way you've opened up and made me feel I'm not alone
It's so appealing
It's so revealing
Brave
It makes it hard to fight the feeling
And maybe I should chill but I want you to know you're the ceiling
Ain't nobody higher
I'm reaching up to grab your fire
And ground you when you need it
I'll lead you or be the squire, it don't matter
So let's plant something, and we'll grow it
Our friendship is something I value either way
You should know it
But I want more
Everything at your pace
You're worth it and so am I
You deserve it and so do I
I know you're afraid of it
And I've been trying not to stress nothing
Because there's def something
Yeah there's def something
I feel it without having locked lips or thighs
But I wanna lock lips and thighs
And stare in your eyes
And stand there right by your side...
When life it's your stride
But I wanna waste none of your time

I ain't going to waste your time
I'm right here if you've got time
I ain't going to waste your time
I'm right here if you've got time
if you've got time
if you've got time
if you've got time
if you've got time
Track Name: My Friend
It seems easy... just say what you feel
Indivisible friends, right, so we think there's a seal
But what if each side's dedication to different ideals
Means separation, cause one of us will catch more feels?
But I can only speak from the lover angle
Here thinking how my love is tangled
See if I wanna tell you everything that's on my chest
Not sure this plot's the best
Or really even stable
They say "just say it so that you can know the truth"
But what if that truth is being marinated?
What if that bond is still slow cooking?
Does the patience get appreciated?
Or is it just a slow simmer to being burnt?
See life don't always rhyme but I'll still try it
I sit here looking at you, like you ain't tired
Coming over when it's late just to hang for a minute
I can't wait to see your eyes when I'm in them
It's a funny paradigm when I think about it
Can we align without pain around us?
I just wanna see you smile, that's the friend in me
But I kinda want you in my life like I feel like it's meant to be
I'm cool with just building for now, at least I think so
But see it's new to be around
Because I've never had a friend like this
And I don't know the rules
Am I supposed to sit silent or ruse on someone else?
But I don't want them though
I only see you and I know it's bold
I want a romantic connection from our friendship
But I question
How will I ever even know if there's a good time to mention it
...so were' friends

He's my friend, he's my friend
She's my friend, she's my friend

It seems easy, just be cool where you are
I know you like me but me loving is hard
I've been forward with my feelings on the matter
I'm afraid, I don't have any of me left to spread on the platter
I see you grabbing that knife though
I know you mean well, I'm not ready to fight though
Maybe you're different
Maybe I'm wrong
I know you're different.... but I'm gone til November
Maybe even longer
Maybe I'll be stronger
Prove to me that you'll be here a little longer
Can't we just build and let it be what it is
Being comfortable is something I'm not comfortable with
I've seen those looks and heard those words...
I've read those books and worked those terms...
I see this pattern that I know too well
I wanna trust you but I've been through hell
So are you heaven, are you real?
Can I be open to everything but not allow myself to feel?
When it comes to that, will you succumb to that?
Or will you show me something different... can I trust in that?
I don't know if it's in me to be wrong again
Am I safe with you, in this place with you?
Is it safe to move?
Can you remove the lies?
Are you really who you are... or will you leave with the cries?
I wanna believe
I wanna be free
I wanna be me
I wanna be seen
I just wanna be
I think you already know this
And maybe it's why
Sometimes I catch you looking at me with those eyes
...but we're friends though

He's my friend, he's my friend
She's my friend, she's my friend
Track Name: Lonely Me
Lonely lonely lonely lonely me
I speak to only only only me
I'm sitting in darkness
Soul's hanging on but lacking a harness
Trying to hold on, this bitch is heartless
...yeah this life is heartless
I've been here sipping on liquor since, hm, yesterday
And I'm just sitting in my thoughts, hm
How I'm gonna get the play?
Alone
I do not want to be, no
Drowning in substances, so
Tell her I want her to be here
I just want it me-her
I see her, I fiend her
I just wanna feel her touch me
Lonely lonely lonely lonely me
I speak to only only only me
Sitting here, and my mind is crowded
Listen here, ain't no way around it
I gotta endure, I don't prefer
Gotta be about it, but...
My solitude ain't nothing to praise
I've been in it for a couple of days
I might seem fine but it's not the case
Born to wander right off the face... of the earth
My curse is a thought that can never be bothered
And they say pray, but I pray to be
I might seem stronger, but nah

Lonely lonely lonely lonely me
I speak to only only only me
I'm sitting here just thinking about it
I'm sitting here just thinking about it

Lonely lonely lonely lonely me
I speak to only only only me
I'm sitting here, can't get way
I stayed in bed for a couple days
And strayed away from looking life right in the face, but...
I disconnected
I missed your message
Here we are, it pulled me in
I saw it fade, I faded black
Slowly emerged, and I'm jaded back
Spotlight is to bright so I ducked out
But I can't run, responsible
But I feel strung so how can I not feel that numb?
Lonely lonely lonely lonely me
I speak to only only only me
I'm sitting here thinking of her distance
If I didn't care I wouldn't miss it
Talked to my ex and she broke it down
Gave me advice... and now I know it now
Her and my guys told me slow it down
Like, "you need ease back
Throw the feet back
Heed that
Mother fucker take this feedback"
Yeah, I see that
But I tend to have faith in my heart and I let it go
I let it grow
I lose control, and here we go
That cycle that you know... and it go...

Lonely lonely lonely lonely me
I speak to only only only me
I'm sitting here just thinking about it
I'm sitting here just thinking about it
Track Name: The Ego (Keep Your Heart)
See, they say keep your heart... but I wanna share it all though
Wanting to be the only one you love
Cause I wanna be the sole soul, solo
But that ain't love... cause love's within
It ain't with them, it ain't with me
It's everywhere
You gotta find yours together and maybe we can send it
Two halves to a whole then maybe we can blend it
But, that's only if you're here though
And I've been catching mixed feelings
I can't tell if you just want my friendship
Or you want me to step up with intention
See, I can do intention
But you asked me to pump the brakes
So I slowed it down
I see you moving now
So should I move away
You're moving me around
Now what we talking about? Shit, hold up
Let's keep it simple though
I'm not trying to be critical
I just don't wanna be blindside
Or get my hopes up any higher than the friending zone
And if I'm in that slot... at least I know where I'm at, right
And I can work with that
But don't tell me that you ain't ready for relations
Then turn around and date cats
When you know I've been courting your ass, come on...
Just tell me what it is...
Or let me put a bid in
But please don't be my friend and lead me on
Even if I seem like it's cool cause it's not though
It's just hard to say no to you
And off goes the mask
I want you to see me so please don't step on my heart
Because I'll bleed out fast

I've been that loyal mother fucker for no damn reason
I should've known better than to let it linger
I'm sitting here now like I didn't know the math
I didn't know the half
Like she was the anomaly
She ain't trying to follow me
She's just trying to model me... try me on
Placeholder to build her up to the next man that she like though
I'm here like a fiend with a pipe though
Give me another hit so I can fly yo
I'm a sucker for a chick with a knife to my neck
If I wanna be right then I flex
But I don't stress a woman I wanna be next to
I don't play those games
I play my hand
I mean what I say and I'm a real ass man
I'll respect your space and I'll trust your word
And it might hurt, but I will walk away
I'm not arrogant but I'm steal
You may get the looks, flattery and appeal
But I get just as much and I curve it still
I guess that I thought I was being real
Just cause I ain't upfront and don't stress to fuck
Because I chose to build with your mind before we touch
Don't mean that I won't have your whole body shaking and stuff
Girl...
See my mouth is a lion
King of the jungle, space of Orion
Put it down so damn nice you'll be crying
And I hate this ego but I'm trying
That ain't the reason for this writing
I'm just expressing how I'm lifing
Inside my mind I've been fighting
Please don't dismiss me for some niceness
There's more appeal in the bad guy
I know because I've been the bad guy
I gave it up cause I wanted more
And I wanted to build with your spirit and core
You weren't ready so I understood
I think I shoulda left when I knew I could
I've been hooked, I'm a pawn you rooked
I really wanted to be the guy you looked for
...But fuck it
Here I am now writing a song about some shit that I already knew
But decided that you were different
But maybe you aren't...
But maybe it's me
And maybe it's not
But maybe you are
You know how to reach me, I won't be far
Track Name: Not Here
I am not there
No, I am not there for you
I am just here for me
You see I wanna do better
But you've got to show me something
Cause you are not here for me
So I am not there for you
Not here

Maybe I should breathe
And let you breathe too
I know I need to
And I know that is where you are
But I want you
It's so hard
If you're not here

I'm afraid
I'm not afraid to say it
But I'm afraid to say it
I think you rejected me
But here I am
And you're gone... well
You're here but nah
You say Hi
I say Hi
But we're not here... no more

Limbo
I'm just floating on my back
I am falling
Slipping away from you
And I don't want to go
But you're far away
And you're not here
No more
Track Name: These Dreams
Now I'm at a crossroads but it's all in mind
Cause the road I wanna take isn't even available
And I've been looking around for the signs
Looking for hidden paths... cause your walls aren't scalable
And I'm not one to give in and walk away
I'm one to keep looking for a way to show you that...
I can add value to your fortress
I know it's a long shot
But I feel you're worth... and you deserve the courtship
You should have knights and a court
A safe place from the storm
With a secret doorway leading right where it's gorgeous
When you step through you feel free and euphoric
Kinda like a gentle tongue touching on your clitoris
It may sound like a dream or something you don't believe
But you're closer than you know move towards it
Just close your eyes and imagine a place that makes you feel at peace
And in my dreams... that's where we meet

When she lays down at night
I wonder what she sees
When she thinks of paradise
Maybe she'll dream of me

And I'm not trying to add pressure, that's why I step back
But I'll massage if you show me, just where you're stress at
I know you wanna do it all yourself, feel like you have to
And I respect it, cause shit, you have to
But me, I wanna seek it
Grab a sword
And figure out the mysteries of your world like Link did (Zelda!)
Build up my weaponry in preparation
Maybe get a brighter candle
To help battle the darkness you dismantle
But look...
I'm not afraid of you
I see your darkness
I see that part of you
That you think is heartless
And on this journey I've been building up my hearts since
I've realized you embody what my hearts miss
So as I reach closer
I see it's getting harder
I understand the work
That's why I venture farther
I don't really know if I'm on the right path
But I'm searching for you princess... in my dreams... if they last

When she lays down at night
I wonder what she sees
When she thinks of paradise
Maybe she'll dream of me

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