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Love Redefined

by LONEgevity

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1.
2.
Now I said... I need the freedom, man I need the freedom But, I don't believe him, my heart was speaking from needing It's something not fulfilled from the season I'm currently in It's trying to take my happiness, afraid to look within I need to stop it, slow down, breath a bit, relax Read a bit, put my seat back Life will be fine, I'll see that Closeness, I fiend that Sometimes I need to step back So I can again, you know, feel that Pack it homie, I know you feel you only It's that pain of feeling lonely It's something ever-knowing We've all been there in different ways And different phases Perpetual mazes We're just finding our own way through it So slow down 3000, slow down You've gotta grab hold of where you are to grow sound I guess it's good to be patient I just want what I want, when I want it Especially when I'm looking at the face of it The more you love yourself, the more your self love will project You talk too much, man, you think to much Always in here trying to predict what others do want Nobody's filming, just be you and be proud of it I know you hate pride, even the sound of it I just wanna be loved I just need to feel something I'm just tired of running Wanna feel more than nothing Always wanna be different Not sure where it comes from Always sit back and listen Even when I'm in front... huh? I'm just trucking through life man Trying to provide my own stipend For the world and everyone to be enlightened But it starts with me, you know that you can't provide that So how you living today? Aye! thanks for asking Had a lot of things change so drastic But I can't bask in it or mask it, life's fantastic Setbacks are growth if you can pass through that traffic Fuck the blinkers Sometimes you've got to move how you feel in that moment And not care who condone it It's all about you sometimes, you've got to own it And you can be for others and still love yourself, know it
3.
03:09
I used to think that my way was the best way But I've learned that it's always best to listen Cause my moves don't speak the way your chest may But might speak in a dialect you were missing I've done a lot of growing that I never thought that I'd need To proceed, believed that I knew free But thinking now, when I break it down You really helped me to be me And be a better man for she (whoever she is) But these are my lessons Your honestly and love does mean more than your presence Sometimes I tear up just thinking about it The love you showed in your pain Believing that we may Be on the right track But both fighting demons And mine seemed to always be the blame But yeah, I see the reasoning Yeah I'm happy that you happy now if you are Yeah I'm happy that you happy now if you are It happened for a reason, one can't be mad So know this, know that everything's cool Sometimes I'd get jealous and feel bad for it Looking back I was jealous of your lack of it Not the act but the position I was put in It's like you always had one foot out and one foot in (me too) And see I struggled to be strong when you were stronger I see now I just needed space to sit and wonder About the place that I wanted to be I was so afraid to be alone, but I was, I couldn't see I do wish that I grew quicker sometimes But looking back, you weren't stressing my time You weren't looking for mine I can't even say that I don't miss you, cause I do The feeling's not the same... but it's true When talking about my insecurities And a purity of a "her and me" See it's a different type of currency I'm just a little lost on the path to where the bliss is Sometimes I get so caught up in it I'm afraid I'll miss it I think I missed it It happened for a reason, one can't be mad So know this, know that everything's cool
4.
5.
Now no matter the situation No matter the shit I'm place in I'll still chase my star in the sky, there's no debating Intertwined with hello Meet me, I'm mellow A fellow that respects the thoughts wrapped in your pillows The dreams on your inner side Fire that's kindled, I Just wanna nurture that feeling when the speaker cries Lose yourself over it Close your eyes or mold to it Make a duplicate, share it with yourself See the scope of it And let the love flow And share with unknowns Build it up, share it with me The door to your soul And I promise that I won't judge, belittle Or think that I know much, if I don't know much I just want to give myself and give it all Live it up my best til my final curtain calls We see our destiny This is the flesh in me Love is the master key Under this mask is me I wanna create with you Even if it's just today Cause I wanna relate with you And see just how you make your way I wanna grow with me Do you wanna grow with you I'm here for you to see Will you let me see you too.. see you too Now unmasking myself is a frightening thought And to love in solitude is a blessing and not And do you need to feel love to show it Hm, that doesn't seem right We're just looking for connections in life And it's ironic that you've got to love yourself first I'm just a man when you break it down Full of faults, with a strong will And I make mistakes, tend to be cold but I'm working on it And if I see beauty I'm perching on it I'm trying to see the world through my own eyes Build with the people, and live my own life It's tough to live openly when you've been where I've been I just wanna let go and have faith... until then I'll race with you Face to face with you Hold hands in thought - I'm made to fade with you Right into the background Living here for me And if you've got the time, you're invited to come sing I wanna create with you Even if it's just today Cause I wanna relate with you And see just how you make your way I wanna grow with me Do you wanna grow with you I'm here for you to see Will you let me see you too.. see you too
6.
04:43
And I don't wanna waste your time, no no I ain't going to waste your time I'm right here if you've got time if you've got time if you've got time Now see, most of these songs are lies Like "I just want your mind..." But I want your back, and your neck and all of that But first now, we should start with where we are and where we at I wanna take you out, learn your deep thoughts and doubts I know that life has been rough That's OK, I have been loved And then I lost it then saw it spawn in someone else uh I know the hesitation I've lived it, I've been impatient I'm patiently waiting I'll make it easy: I'm standing stationary The very thought is scary I carry the weight of my soul that is married to old thoughts That's why these bold plots are cold-hot Either you love the idea or you don't, nah You don't have to know til you know ma Cause I don't have a fear for the unknown I just have a fear of what's known Under the tones of expectation So that sensation Can be elation Temptation Or simply hatred of feeling wasted I ain't going to waste your time I'm right here if you've got time I ain't going to waste your time I'm right here if you've got time if you've got time if you've got time if you've got time if you've got time I wrote the first verse, then I let it breathe Two months later, my mind, you don't wanna leave I kind of wondered if I was infatuated Like, maybe it wasn't real or maybe I was just jaded But I've realized some things Like yeah, you have a pretty face And your eyes and your figure And how you flirt when you drink But I fell in love with your mind, that's the best part And I rarely think about your beauty, outside of your heart And it's amazing, that feeling The way you've opened up and made me feel I'm not alone It's so appealing It's so revealing Brave It makes it hard to fight the feeling And maybe I should chill but I want you to know you're the ceiling Ain't nobody higher I'm reaching up to grab your fire And ground you when you need it I'll lead you or be the squire, it don't matter So let's plant something, and we'll grow it Our friendship is something I value either way You should know it But I want more Everything at your pace You're worth it and so am I You deserve it and so do I I know you're afraid of it And I've been trying not to stress nothing Because there's def something Yeah there's def something I feel it without having locked lips or thighs But I wanna lock lips and thighs And stare in your eyes And stand there right by your side... When life it's your stride But I wanna waste none of your time I ain't going to waste your time I'm right here if you've got time I ain't going to waste your time I'm right here if you've got time if you've got time if you've got time if you've got time if you've got time
7.
8.
04:36
It seems easy... just say what you feel Indivisible friends, right, so we think there's a seal But what if each side's dedication to different ideals Means separation, cause one of us will catch more feels? But I can only speak from the lover angle Here thinking how my love is tangled See if I wanna tell you everything that's on my chest Not sure this plot's the best Or really even stable They say "just say it so that you can know the truth" But what if that truth is being marinated? What if that bond is still slow cooking? Does the patience get appreciated? Or is it just a slow simmer to being burnt? See life don't always rhyme but I'll still try it I sit here looking at you, like you ain't tired Coming over when it's late just to hang for a minute I can't wait to see your eyes when I'm in them It's a funny paradigm when I think about it Can we align without pain around us? I just wanna see you smile, that's the friend in me But I kinda want you in my life like I feel like it's meant to be I'm cool with just building for now, at least I think so But see it's new to be around Because I've never had a friend like this And I don't know the rules Am I supposed to sit silent or ruse on someone else? But I don't want them though I only see you and I know it's bold I want a romantic connection from our friendship But I question How will I ever even know if there's a good time to mention it ...so were' friends He's my friend, he's my friend She's my friend, she's my friend It seems easy, just be cool where you are I know you like me but me loving is hard I've been forward with my feelings on the matter I'm afraid, I don't have any of me left to spread on the platter I see you grabbing that knife though I know you mean well, I'm not ready to fight though Maybe you're different Maybe I'm wrong I know you're different.... but I'm gone til November Maybe even longer Maybe I'll be stronger Prove to me that you'll be here a little longer Can't we just build and let it be what it is Being comfortable is something I'm not comfortable with I've seen those looks and heard those words... I've read those books and worked those terms... I see this pattern that I know too well I wanna trust you but I've been through hell So are you heaven, are you real? Can I be open to everything but not allow myself to feel? When it comes to that, will you succumb to that? Or will you show me something different... can I trust in that? I don't know if it's in me to be wrong again Am I safe with you, in this place with you? Is it safe to move? Can you remove the lies? Are you really who you are... or will you leave with the cries? I wanna believe I wanna be free I wanna be me I wanna be seen I just wanna be I think you already know this And maybe it's why Sometimes I catch you looking at me with those eyes ...but we're friends though He's my friend, he's my friend She's my friend, she's my friend
9.
03:29
Lonely lonely lonely lonely me I speak to only only only me I'm sitting in darkness Soul's hanging on but lacking a harness Trying to hold on, this bitch is heartless ...yeah this life is heartless I've been here sipping on liquor since, hm, yesterday And I'm just sitting in my thoughts, hm How I'm gonna get the play? Alone I do not want to be, no Drowning in substances, so Tell her I want her to be here I just want it me-her I see her, I fiend her I just wanna feel her touch me Lonely lonely lonely lonely me I speak to only only only me Sitting here, and my mind is crowded Listen here, ain't no way around it I gotta endure, I don't prefer Gotta be about it, but... My solitude ain't nothing to praise I've been in it for a couple of days I might seem fine but it's not the case Born to wander right off the face... of the earth My curse is a thought that can never be bothered And they say pray, but I pray to be I might seem stronger, but nah Lonely lonely lonely lonely me I speak to only only only me I'm sitting here just thinking about it I'm sitting here just thinking about it Lonely lonely lonely lonely me I speak to only only only me I'm sitting here, can't get way I stayed in bed for a couple days And strayed away from looking life right in the face, but... I disconnected I missed your message Here we are, it pulled me in I saw it fade, I faded black Slowly emerged, and I'm jaded back Spotlight is to bright so I ducked out But I can't run, responsible But I feel strung so how can I not feel that numb? Lonely lonely lonely lonely me I speak to only only only me I'm sitting here thinking of her distance If I didn't care I wouldn't miss it Talked to my ex and she broke it down Gave me advice... and now I know it now Her and my guys told me slow it down Like, "you need ease back Throw the feet back Heed that Mother fucker take this feedback" Yeah, I see that But I tend to have faith in my heart and I let it go I let it grow I lose control, and here we go That cycle that you know... and it go... Lonely lonely lonely lonely me I speak to only only only me I'm sitting here just thinking about it I'm sitting here just thinking about it
10.
11.
See, they say keep your heart... but I wanna share it all though Wanting to be the only one you love Cause I wanna be the sole soul, solo But that ain't love... cause love's within It ain't with them, it ain't with me It's everywhere You gotta find yours together and maybe we can send it Two halves to a whole then maybe we can blend it But, that's only if you're here though And I've been catching mixed feelings I can't tell if you just want my friendship Or you want me to step up with intention See, I can do intention But you asked me to pump the brakes So I slowed it down I see you moving now So should I move away You're moving me around Now what we talking about? Shit, hold up Let's keep it simple though I'm not trying to be critical I just don't wanna be blindside Or get my hopes up any higher than the friending zone And if I'm in that slot... at least I know where I'm at, right And I can work with that But don't tell me that you ain't ready for relations Then turn around and date cats When you know I've been courting your ass, come on... Just tell me what it is... Or let me put a bid in But please don't be my friend and lead me on Even if I seem like it's cool cause it's not though It's just hard to say no to you And off goes the mask I want you to see me so please don't step on my heart Because I'll bleed out fast I've been that loyal mother fucker for no damn reason I should've known better than to let it linger I'm sitting here now like I didn't know the math I didn't know the half Like she was the anomaly She ain't trying to follow me She's just trying to model me... try me on Placeholder to build her up to the next man that she like though I'm here like a fiend with a pipe though Give me another hit so I can fly yo I'm a sucker for a chick with a knife to my neck If I wanna be right then I flex But I don't stress a woman I wanna be next to I don't play those games I play my hand I mean what I say and I'm a real ass man I'll respect your space and I'll trust your word And it might hurt, but I will walk away I'm not arrogant but I'm steal You may get the looks, flattery and appeal But I get just as much and I curve it still I guess that I thought I was being real Just cause I ain't upfront and don't stress to fuck Because I chose to build with your mind before we touch Don't mean that I won't have your whole body shaking and stuff Girl... See my mouth is a lion King of the jungle, space of Orion Put it down so damn nice you'll be crying And I hate this ego but I'm trying That ain't the reason for this writing I'm just expressing how I'm lifing Inside my mind I've been fighting Please don't dismiss me for some niceness There's more appeal in the bad guy I know because I've been the bad guy I gave it up cause I wanted more And I wanted to build with your spirit and core You weren't ready so I understood I think I shoulda left when I knew I could I've been hooked, I'm a pawn you rooked I really wanted to be the guy you looked for ...But fuck it Here I am now writing a song about some shit that I already knew But decided that you were different But maybe you aren't... But maybe it's me And maybe it's not But maybe you are You know how to reach me, I won't be far
12.
03:25
I am not there No, I am not there for you I am just here for me You see I wanna do better But you've got to show me something Cause you are not here for me So I am not there for you Not here Maybe I should breathe And let you breathe too I know I need to And I know that is where you are But I want you It's so hard If you're not here I'm afraid I'm not afraid to say it But I'm afraid to say it I think you rejected me But here I am And you're gone... well You're here but nah You say Hi I say Hi But we're not here... no more Limbo I'm just floating on my back I am falling Slipping away from you And I don't want to go But you're far away And you're not here No more
13.
14.
02:45
Now I'm at a crossroads but it's all in mind Cause the road I wanna take isn't even available And I've been looking around for the signs Looking for hidden paths... cause your walls aren't scalable And I'm not one to give in and walk away I'm one to keep looking for a way to show you that... I can add value to your fortress I know it's a long shot But I feel you're worth... and you deserve the courtship You should have knights and a court A safe place from the storm With a secret doorway leading right where it's gorgeous When you step through you feel free and euphoric Kinda like a gentle tongue touching on your clitoris It may sound like a dream or something you don't believe But you're closer than you know move towards it Just close your eyes and imagine a place that makes you feel at peace And in my dreams... that's where we meet When she lays down at night I wonder what she sees When she thinks of paradise Maybe she'll dream of me And I'm not trying to add pressure, that's why I step back But I'll massage if you show me, just where you're stress at I know you wanna do it all yourself, feel like you have to And I respect it, cause shit, you have to But me, I wanna seek it Grab a sword And figure out the mysteries of your world like Link did (Zelda!) Build up my weaponry in preparation Maybe get a brighter candle To help battle the darkness you dismantle But look... I'm not afraid of you I see your darkness I see that part of you That you think is heartless And on this journey I've been building up my hearts since I've realized you embody what my hearts miss So as I reach closer I see it's getting harder I understand the work That's why I venture farther I don't really know if I'm on the right path But I'm searching for you princess... in my dreams... if they last When she lays down at night I wonder what she sees When she thinks of paradise Maybe she'll dream of me
15.

about

"Love Redefined" is a concept album in the form of a continuous story that is meant to be heard in order from the first track to the last. It is loosely based on certain episodes of "Master of None" Netflix series and shit that's happened in my life in the last year.

In creating "Love Redefined," I wanted to create something that documents the intricacies and afflictions of someone learning to change the way he views life and love, and the path to find love in himself - rather than be dependent on it from another. You'll follow the struggle in having patience in the process when fighting familiar emotions, as well as exploring being open and honest with those feelings with not only himself but with others. This project started out as something I had no intent on releasing, and instead was just kind of writing to get some thoughts out creatively. As the project came to a close it turned into something I like and wanted to share with people. Life's a process, and this project documents that process.

credits

released February 14, 2018

I wrote, produced, edited, mixed and mastered everything you hear on the album except a couple interludes that I stole from the internet. I also made the art. Ted Somerville and his guitar added the emotion I needed on "Friends," and my guy Eric Wilson co-produced "Lonely Me."

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LONEgevity Indianapolis

LONEgevity is a producer, musician, emcee, vocalist and member of Section Leaders.

He's also placed music in independent commercials / films and been featured on sites such as 2dopeboyz, Okayplayer, NPR, Mass Appeal, DJ Booth, The Source, etc.

Music affiliations: Section Leaders, Hinx Jones, Beats & Breakfast, Cut Camp.

Check full discog at website. This page is just solo projects.
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